Surviving parenthood
by Rhian Gibbings
Most newlyweds have their first child about two years after marriage, but we all know that in today’s society, babies often come along unplanned and to parents in the strangest of circumstances.
Whether the pregnancy was planned or not, and whether the relationship is perfect or slightly flawed, by the time baby arrives most couples are so excited about the prospect of parenthood they look to the future wearing rose tinted specs.
Once the delight of becoming new parents is wearing off and couples have to face endless dirty nappies, sleepless nights, feeding problems and a baby who seems to instinctively know that the most comfortable place is right between mum and dad in the marital bed, it’s no wonder some relationships begin to falter and the strain sets in.
Maintaining a loving relationship is essential. It can be tempting to place all your focus on baby, but a neglected partner is an unhappy one! So what can you do to maintain your bond as a couple now that you’re a family unit?
Sharing care and responsibility for your baby is really important. There is no reason why one partner should take the brunt of the responsibility and exhaust themselves while the other one twiddles their thumbs. Negotiate which tasks each of you can shoulder, and stick to an agreed plan.
Keep the lines of communication open. You might not be relating to each other in the same way that you used to, but talking openly and honestly about your feelings is a good way of ensuring you remain connected as a couple.
Set some time aside for yourselves as a couple. It’s not selfish to ask for help from trusted friends or family members, and they’ll take great pleasure in looking after your baby while you take some well deserved time out.
Congratulate yourselves for the great job you’ve done together in producing such a great baby! A night out or a romantic daytrip will do wonders for your relationship and start to bring the magic back.
